Last Christmas, our youth group performed a full length comic play for the adults of our church. It was sort of a Christmas celebration; we served them dinner afterwards, and it was a good time. This year, I can't create a funny script to save my life. So we're going for a few shorter more serious type dramas instead. Here's the first one I've written.
The Garage Will Be Good Enough For You.
Narrator We are going to pretend for a few moments, that the Christmas story found in Luke chapter 2 happened in modern day America, instead of ancient Bethlehem. And we’re going to imagine that instead of going to an inn for a makeshift delivery room, Mary and Joseph looked for refuge at a local church.
Lights on
Joseph (runs in) I need help! Somebody help me! She’s having a baby!
Pastor Whoa, there buddy, calm down. Now, who’s having a baby?
Joseph Mary. She…she’s with me. I think the baby’s coming really soon. Please help us!
Pastor Okay you just hold tight. Jean! Come in here a minute, would you?
Jean (from backstage) I’ll be right there, Pastor Bill!
Pastor Jean’s real good with babies. She’s had a few young ones herself.
Joseph I really appreciate it. There isn’t a hotel for miles.
Pastor No, this town isn’t much for traffic. And the nearest hospital is quite a ways off as well. You folks had best stay here, tonight. We have a little apartment upstairs set up for guest evangelists and such. And we’ve got a family doctor that goes to our church here. I’ll call him over as soon as we get you settled.
Joseph Thank you so much. We would have been stranded.
Pastor Don’t even mention it. Now go get her and bring her in here, and we’ll get you all fixed up. (Joseph leaves)
Jean (walks in) Oh, there you are. Now what’s going on?
Pastor We have a man here whose wife is going to have a baby.
Jean You mean right here? She’s going to have it now?
Pastor From the sounds of things, yes.
Jean Oh, how exciting!
Pastor We need to set them up in the guest apartment and get Dr. Sanders on the phone.
Jean I just checked the apartment this morning—it’s ready. I’ll go call the doctor. (she leaves)
Joseph (walks in with Mary) We don’t have much time, Pastor, which way to that apartment?
Pastor Jean will be back in a second. She’ll take you right there. (pauses) Your wife is quite young.
Joseph Well, she’s not really my…wife.
Pastor What?
Joseph She’s more like my fiancée.
Pastor Your fiancée?
Mary Can we please talk about this some other time?
Pastor How old are you, miss?
Mary I’m 16. Can we please just find a place for me to lie down?
Pastor You’re 16. How very interesting. And you, young man, how old are you?
Joseph I am 23.
Pastor I see. So you, a 23 year old man, bring your 16 year old pregnant girlfriend into the house of God and you expect us just to take you in? And pretend not to notice that you are living in sin?
Joseph It’s not as simple as all that. It would be very difficult to explain to you.
Pastor (Jean walks in) You don’t need to explain anything at all to me. I have been a pastor for 14 years. I know the fruit of immorality when I see it. Jean, call Dr. Sanders back. Tell him that he can meet the expectant parents in the garage behind the church instead of the guest apartment. And tell him that the expectant parents are not married. And one of them is a minor. So he’s under no moral obligation to rush over.
Jean (almost a whisper) They’re not married?
Mary You’re going to put us in the garage?
Joseph What about that guest apartment?
Pastor I am being gracious with you and allowing you to use our garage. It is either that or you can go to our City Rescue Mission.
Joseph There will be no privacy at the rescue mission.
Pastor I guess you should have thought about these things earlier.
Mary I cannot believe this. Joseph, just tell them our story. Tell them—
Pastor May I remind you young lady, that this is the house of God. And whatever story of debauchery you might have is not welcome here. Jean, point them to the garage.
Jean Do you think I should stay out there with them? To make sure that they’re okay?
Pastor Jean, they got themselves into this mess. Let them get themselves out.
Lights out
Narrator So what is the point of that little story? I suppose it could be that in the church’s ambitious effort to avoid sin, that sometimes we also miss out on worshiping the Savior.
Narrator We are going to pretend for a few moments, that the Christmas story found in Luke chapter 2 happened in modern day America, instead of ancient Bethlehem. And we’re going to imagine that instead of going to an inn for a makeshift delivery room, Mary and Joseph looked for refuge at a local church.
Lights on
Joseph (runs in) I need help! Somebody help me! She’s having a baby!
Pastor Whoa, there buddy, calm down. Now, who’s having a baby?
Joseph Mary. She…she’s with me. I think the baby’s coming really soon. Please help us!
Pastor Okay you just hold tight. Jean! Come in here a minute, would you?
Jean (from backstage) I’ll be right there, Pastor Bill!
Pastor Jean’s real good with babies. She’s had a few young ones herself.
Joseph I really appreciate it. There isn’t a hotel for miles.
Pastor No, this town isn’t much for traffic. And the nearest hospital is quite a ways off as well. You folks had best stay here, tonight. We have a little apartment upstairs set up for guest evangelists and such. And we’ve got a family doctor that goes to our church here. I’ll call him over as soon as we get you settled.
Joseph Thank you so much. We would have been stranded.
Pastor Don’t even mention it. Now go get her and bring her in here, and we’ll get you all fixed up. (Joseph leaves)
Jean (walks in) Oh, there you are. Now what’s going on?
Pastor We have a man here whose wife is going to have a baby.
Jean You mean right here? She’s going to have it now?
Pastor From the sounds of things, yes.
Jean Oh, how exciting!
Pastor We need to set them up in the guest apartment and get Dr. Sanders on the phone.
Jean I just checked the apartment this morning—it’s ready. I’ll go call the doctor. (she leaves)
Joseph (walks in with Mary) We don’t have much time, Pastor, which way to that apartment?
Pastor Jean will be back in a second. She’ll take you right there. (pauses) Your wife is quite young.
Joseph Well, she’s not really my…wife.
Pastor What?
Joseph She’s more like my fiancée.
Pastor Your fiancée?
Mary Can we please talk about this some other time?
Pastor How old are you, miss?
Mary I’m 16. Can we please just find a place for me to lie down?
Pastor You’re 16. How very interesting. And you, young man, how old are you?
Joseph I am 23.
Pastor I see. So you, a 23 year old man, bring your 16 year old pregnant girlfriend into the house of God and you expect us just to take you in? And pretend not to notice that you are living in sin?
Joseph It’s not as simple as all that. It would be very difficult to explain to you.
Pastor (Jean walks in) You don’t need to explain anything at all to me. I have been a pastor for 14 years. I know the fruit of immorality when I see it. Jean, call Dr. Sanders back. Tell him that he can meet the expectant parents in the garage behind the church instead of the guest apartment. And tell him that the expectant parents are not married. And one of them is a minor. So he’s under no moral obligation to rush over.
Jean (almost a whisper) They’re not married?
Mary You’re going to put us in the garage?
Joseph What about that guest apartment?
Pastor I am being gracious with you and allowing you to use our garage. It is either that or you can go to our City Rescue Mission.
Joseph There will be no privacy at the rescue mission.
Pastor I guess you should have thought about these things earlier.
Mary I cannot believe this. Joseph, just tell them our story. Tell them—
Pastor May I remind you young lady, that this is the house of God. And whatever story of debauchery you might have is not welcome here. Jean, point them to the garage.
Jean Do you think I should stay out there with them? To make sure that they’re okay?
Pastor Jean, they got themselves into this mess. Let them get themselves out.
Lights out
Narrator So what is the point of that little story? I suppose it could be that in the church’s ambitious effort to avoid sin, that sometimes we also miss out on worshiping the Savior.
